Switched to Overdrive and Running Out of Gas

Image from CCPhotos CPD... Apt for present state of being.

All I can say is WHAT A WEEK. I'm in overdrive and actively working to settle after quite a challenging time both at work, and now personally. To go into every detail of what has occurred over the last week would be tiresome (as my mind hasn't been on much else and I know I need now to put it all to rest), but I kind of want to get some of this down.

Have basically had a battle with my team leader at work due to some (perhaps unintentional) bullying behaviour with regards to sick leave I've taken and general miscommunication, mainly on his part. To cut a really, really bloody long story short, yesterday I was put in a meeting with said team leader, an HR representative and a union representative. Ultimately the meeting went very well from my perspective and many issues were brought up/confronted and hopefully things will change. He wasn't at work today and I haven't seen him since the meeting (which is probably a good thing), so will be interesting to see him again after the weekend.

However, I do now have some concerns about my mental health as having been in overdrive since Monday morning (when shit basically hit the fan at work between team leader and I), and having difficulty winding down. Finding myself second-guessing/questioning my thoughts and perceptions for "reality" and having mini panic attacks (like heart palpitations, butterflies, shallow breathing) which I've never had before. Consciously having to tune out things around me to focus, but then struggling or finding it a concern that I'm focusing too intently. Very hard to explain.

Such a fine frigging line I feel I'm walking, between what's real and what isn't. I think anyone reading this who knows me in person would perhaps be concerned that I might be losing it and I would request that if anyone reading this that does know me has any concerns, they direct them to me so I can address them... Challenges to some comments or thoughts that come out of me are actually welcome as an external take on stuff going on can be helpful. Hint, hint?

Gonna shut up now because things might get misconstrued.... I feel that if I verbalise too much of the chatter in my head right now I'll be locked away. Really, I'm ok! Going out later tonight to chill. Yep.

Um, PS. If you're going to challenge me, please make sure you do it gently. Firm or borderline "aggressive" challenges make me feel even more stressed due to the questioning which really, really makes me wonder... God I hope this makes sense.